114. Marriage and Family: Children Learn What They Live

Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray.” [Proverbs 22:6, NRSV]

This Bible verse ought to be close to the hearts of all parents. Children learn what they live, and Proverbs 22:6 gives us the essence of that teaching.

Unfortunately, as parents we too often forget how important we are to our children and how great an influence we have on them in the way we behave. Much of the little things we do and words we utter can have long range effects on them.

Sitting in the waiting room in our physician’s clinic, we had plenty of time in hand and nothing much to do. So we read Dorothy Law Nolte’s well-known and wisdom-packed piece “Children Learn What They Live”, nicely framed and hanging on the wall, reflectively.

Since its publication in 1954, this inspirational and educational poem has circulated worldwide. Appearing in many languages, the wisdom in this poem has been extensively taught in parenting and teaching courses, distributed in doctors’ offices, and printed on posters and calendars. Nolte’s book of the same title devotes a chapter to each line of the poem and is filled with examples of positive teaching.

Reading it off the wall, we nodded repeatedly in agreement, “How true.” And as we read the piece, we recalled how seamlessly true it fitted with the autobiography of a writer in Hong Kong.

  • When she was small, author Liu’s father used to ask her to go to buy things in the little corner shop downstairs. She was always told not to let the shopkeeper wrap the merchandise in old Chinese newspapers. At the time, toilet paper with which we are familiar today was not available. Common people used old newspapers as toilet paper. “Confucius would be very unhappy with you,” he had warned his daughter. “Do not throw books on the floor or step over a school bag,” he told his daughter, pointing to something sinister if she did not heed his words. In his quaint old Chinaman mentality, the old father had taught his daughter a very important lesson and it stayed with her throughout her life. She had learned to love books and to treasure them. So she bought books and became an avid reader. She would keep her books nicely on the shelf. She would go on to become a scholar and author. She learned what she lived.

Copyright © Dr. Jeffrey & Angie Goh, October, 2014. All rights reserved.

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